Gardening Journal July 2008

For the last two days, Dean and I have been breaking our backs working in the yard and garden. Below are photos of some plants that I just planted. With any luck I will be able to keep a journal running on the progress of these specimins for the next few months.

This photo is a mature Vinca plant along with several little new ones I planted today. I removed all the weeds and grass from the bed and turned the soil. The white spots are from the potting soil that the Vinca’s came in.. it was extra so I scattered it around the plants.

With all the todo about tomatos and e-coli or whatever, I’ve decided to grow my own. I used to grow tons of tomatos and other veggies up north in Indiana, but since I’ve moved to Southwest Florida I haven’t grown a single vegetable so here goes!

This is a photo of the green bell pepper plant that I planted today. I decided to grow it in a container due to the various creatures that may find it attractive in the back yard.

This is the tomato that I also planted in a container today. There are 2 tomato plants here. One is a medium sized tomato for slicing and the other is a cherry tomato variety.

I have never grown tomatos in a container but I think this will work.

Stay tuned for more. I will keep updating on the progress of these plants as well as others I’m working on.

The One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, ‘Why are you spending so much time on this one?’ And the Lord answered, ‘Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everything with only two hands.’

The angel was astounded at the requirements. ‘Only two hands!? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.’

‘But I won’t, ‘ the Lord protested. ‘I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.’

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.’

‘She is soft,’ the Lord agreed, ‘but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.’

‘Will she be able to think?’, asked the angel.

The Lord replied, ‘Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.’

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. ‘Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.’

‘That’s not a leak,’ the Lord corrected, ‘that’s a tear!’

‘What’s the tear for?’ the angel asked.

The Lord said, ‘The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.’

The angel was impressed. ‘You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything!

Woman is truly amazing.’And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don’t take ‘no’ for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

The Driver

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into
the limo, and He doesn't travel light, the driver
notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take
your seat
so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they
never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to
drive today.'

'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd
never
gone to work that morning.

'There might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in
behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when,
after exiting the airport, the
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!' pleads the worried
driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until
they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license,'
moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop
approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back
to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped
a limo going a hundred and five.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the
cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.

The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Governor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'

...

...

...

...

...

Cop: 'He's got the f**ing Pope as a chauffeur!'

Michelangelo’s David on Tour

Michelangelo’s famous statue, David, returns to Italy this week after a very successful 12-week, 20-city tour in the United States. Sponsored by McDonalds.

 

The “Secretary”

I have a new title at work. This title has been granted to me by a co-worker that is younger than me and a little mentally challenged. She likes to call me “The Secretary”.

 

For a little insight, this girl doesn’t know the first thing about the printing industry (an area in which I have a bachelor’s degree). She actually asked me today what the sales tax percentage in Florida was and if that was “times .07″ on the calculator. She also asked me what the dimensions of a bi-fold was - on an 8.5 x 11 piece of paper. For those of you who are wondering.. a bi-fold means to fold in half which would make the paper 5.5 x 8.5!

Maybe I’m not “hip” or “with it”, but as far as I know, the title “secretary” went out in the late 70’s. It’s a very degrading term, sexist and painfully outdated.

This girl insists on calling me a secretary. After working there for 3 weeks and 2 days I’m a little shy about confronting her with the problem, but whenever she uses the term it makes me want to spit nails into her eye sockets.

If I recall, the actual title of my position was “Customer Service Rep”.

Does anyone out there have a suggestion on how I should confront this young lady without knocking her teeth out?

Please help!!!